dear diary.

For anything that is not really to do with Systems - or at least so off topic as not to fit anywhere else.

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:06 pm

i saw something on television the other week (sorry for the vague reference, but it matters not) where a woman was talking to a man who had some communication difficulties. I think he may have been autistic but i can't remember. What struck me though was that this woman (a doctor/presenter type) failed to comment on and therefore possible 'failed to notice' that this man never ever used the pronoun 'i' he spoke even when about himself in the sense of 'it makes you feel' or 'you do this'... never 'it makes me feel'. I think there was something fundamentally important about that and i think she was missing it entirely.
When studying open university systems courses we were told to use *I* when writing, to take ownership of our opinions rather than saying 'one does' or 'it is likely that', instead saying 'i believe/think/feel'.. at the time of studying these courses this seemed odd as most courses require you to use the third person not the first person... However i only wondered about the effect of someone NEVER saying 'I' when i saw this program. If someone never says 'i', do they even accept they are an individual? Perhaps they feel as if all people are part of their own mind... using 'I' logically forces the idea of 'i' as something separate from you... i think. I haven't worked out any conclusions here, i'm just wondering about it. Children apparently when they are less than about 18 months old don't see themselves as separate from their primary carer (usually the mother) so for example, when they feel hunger, they assume the mother feels that same sensation. Around the 2 year old stage they learn that they are separate ( and hence learn the idea of saying 'No!') and understand that they have their own opinion/sensations. I wonder if the man in the tv programme had gone through that stage properly, or whether he'd never understood himself as an independent person.
Sometimes i think we're told not to use I because it is somehow politer not to, as if using I comes from ego and arrogance. I think it's worrying if someone doesn't use it at all though.
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
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Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:01 am

so, i'm now addicted to twitter despite only having been using it for a matter of a few hours. Well, maybe a couple of days.
I feel as if the world is suddenly tiny. You really can talk to just about anybody out there. Growing up i had a definite sense of 'them' and 'us', there was (in my mind) a clear line between the rich and famous and us mere mortals. Twitter (assuming that the whole thing isn't just lots of people pretending, which is still possible) rather levels the world out. Anyone can connect anywhere within a moment. I can pick two people and tweet mentioning them both and suddenly they have a connection they may not have had before. I think it makes fundamental changes to my sensation of where i fit in the world. I think it begins to mean i can't blame my lack of achievement on 'not being one of them'. Sure, people who are well connected have it easier - but beginning to make those connections isn't the mountain it once was.
Of course i am aware of how small my voice is amongst the thousands and millions who are 'out there'. But still.
The other thing i noticed about the internet yesterday (not about the internet yesterday, i mean, i became aware of the sensation of realising about it yesterday, not that it just happened) was that some people are busy advertising/publishing/displaying things about themselves that are the very things other people are trying to hide - people are strange! - one persons personal secret is another persons matter of pride...i'm very careful about what i put online and still i feel as if my whole life is laid bare.... i have noticed some people blogging and they talk about some things and i think 'why are you not embarrassed about that?' In a world where eventually it looks like everyone's whole life will be readable, will the glut of information mean we just stop noticing the details...how will people ever walk away from a mistake... will that lead to greater honesty and accountability... or will it mean people going to greater lengths to protect themselves?....Sorry this sounds like a whole load of unanswered questions but that is the point...Are we going to start forgetting that so much of what we read is just someone's opinion? Will seeing it in print (on screen) mean we start to believe things must be 'the truth'? Years ago i remember people saying things like 'you can't believe everything you read in the papers' yet i believe the reason that saying exists is because inherently people do give more weight to something they have seen printed compared to something they heard. The camera never lies too (though we know it does) and increasingly images are online that give away a whole stack of information. It must be a stalkers paradise...
It's early morning and my wristwatch lies on the desk next to me, and for a moment i am distracted by watching the second-hand tick around under the lamplight. I'm torn between climbing back into bed, trying to shield my eyes from the daylight and trying to snatch a few more hours sleep (a precious commodity) or going to feed the cat, getting dressed, and perhaps going out after some bread.
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
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Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:41 pm

i want to be smarter, but i am not sure how to sharpen my brain.
It's like trying to see another colour, something beyond the visible spectrum. If you've never seen it, it is impossible to go there with your brain. Even though dreams contain the impossible, it's still generally a mish-mash made of things that i have experienced. How can i be smarter, if i don't know where it is my brain needs to be? I think, for a start, i could do with improving my memory, but it's not that straightforward because it's also about 'not losing the thread' ( i'm fine when i can ramble on but i fall apart in conversations because i can't string the ideas together properly) and, also, about concentration in general. You see i have been wondering (since i started tweeting) about my 'fantasy dinner party' (this is a very recent invention not a longstanding wish) (this also doesn't allow for inviting dead people, see, i mean if you started including all the people i would ever have liked to invite, it would be a long list) but i have realised that even if i could assemble the great and good around a table, i'd never keep up. I'd probably open my mouth and shut it again and that would be that. It would be So Much Fun though to delve into their brains.

i mentioned the other day on here about a chap who never said 'i'. Well i have since realised that hardly anyone ever says 'we' meaning me and someone else. That leaves me with a wistful feeling. Still, there's always tomorrow.
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:12 pm

i just noticed this thread has had over 31000 views. They can't possibly all be me....? :o
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:13 pm

i would have to be looking at it about once an hour, all day, every day...
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Tue Sep 04, 2012 1:39 pm

i think twitter is getting me 'into' politics!
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:59 pm

dear diary.
just thinking about information storage. i am a bit lazy with links to things, and my favourites list despite attempts to keep it under control rapidly spirals into chaos. Mess seems to multiply like bacteria, one minute there's a little and then suddenly loads...It's easy to watch this effect when it's 'things left on the kitchen table' but when it's stuff happening 'behind the scenes' on a computer for example, it's easy to turn a blind eye until the chaos is suddenly overwhelming. I have Got to get into the habit of sorting stuff out on a daily basis even if i don't feel like it... 5 minutes 'admin' built into every day could help avert disaster later.


Realised today that my twitter addiction is an extension of my OU addiction - even though it's over a year since i was studying, I'm still(subconsciously) sitting at the computer waiting for something to happen, realised today that it's that 'buzz' of assignments getting marked... it's like i'm still sitting around typing, which in the past led to 'assignment success buzz' but, since i am no longer studying, the buzz will never happen... Like someone sitting with an after-eight box that's only full of the empty wrappers because someone's eaten the mints and left the wrappers in, and i'm looking through them all waiting for a mint, not realising the box is empty.
'if i sit here long enough, something will happen' might be true, but it's a lame reason to sit here waiting. I'm no longer driving the happenings. I'm full of ideas, but there's no direction any more... so they're just piling up adding to my list of things that never get done.
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Mon Oct 08, 2012 12:32 pm

apologies for the lack of posting lately, (more science experiments).. back soon!
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Thu Oct 11, 2012 9:19 pm

life is complex. i hope you're all having a good day.
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
Location: planet earth

Re: dear diary.

Postby Teiana on Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:36 pm

is everyone ok? it's a bit quiet. roll call? anyone still here?
H.R.H. 8-)
Teiana
 
Posts: 2800
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:46 pm
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